So near the end of the movie Nicholson tells Hunt “You make me want to be a better person” during this sob story about his pills.  Have you ever felt like that or a had a person fill you with such joy that you want to change something about yourself?

Today I recieved a letter from my doctor.  I am evidently past due for my diabetes checkup (although I was informed in January they didn’t want to see me until August).  It made me realize I am horrible at taking pills.  I hate taking pills.  I’m supposed to take at least 12 pills a day.  That’s a lot of pills.  2 for sugar, 1 for blood pressure, 1 for a fast pulse, 5 for pain, 1 for high cholesterol, an aspirin for heart protection and a vitamin.  That’s a lot of fraking pills.

I admit that I forget a lot.  In fact I don’t think I’ve taken them for two weeks.  Why is that?  Because I too lazy to keep my pill bottles prepped.  I had a wonderful system of these nifty little vial like plastic tubes that I could fit a dose into.  I set them up to have morning and evening bottles.  I’d take each dose and then I’m supposed to toss them in a box so I can start refilling them … and well I don’t know where most of them are now.

I know I need to take my pills.  I know I need to lose weight – doing so means I don’t have to take my pills because my body should straighten itself out.  I want to be a better person.  I want to be around for my wife, my kids (when I have any), my family and my friends.

So now I sit here trying to figure out what to do.  I find myself sitting alone a lot lately.  I try to do constructive things (this blog for example).  I try to make things.  I try to do so many things.  In the end, I feel like I’ve done nothing.  I’ve always chocked this up to “It’s Life” and deal with it.  That may or may not be best way to handle, but until better things get figured out that’s how it will be.

And I’ve now realized that I’m moving farther and farther away from my thoughts when I started this post and should probably stop.  I’m going to try to write over the weekend, but I hope to have a new review up on Monday and hopefully going into the next week I’ll get better plans for what’s going to be posted regularly on track (or at least started).