There have been a lot of things to happen since my last post and I’ve just been overwealmed to say the least.  Many, if not all, who read here have seen or heard that my wife is pregnant with our first child.  That experience has led to a lot of self searching and depression that I’ve been working through.  But those parts are a story for another day, or likely not because I’m sure no one really needs to read about the destructive nature of man.

I’ve believe I have three reviews I’m currently working on, although I might try something interesting with one of them.  Plus I’m starting a couple of projects and while I’m not exactly sure how I will get them out.  I will notify on here first.

A couple months back in my post titled “You Make Me Want To Be A Better Person” I mentioned that I needed to take my pills.   Well I’ve remembered about fifty percent of the time now.  But it was kinda hard writing that post when I couldn’t say that my wife was pregnant.  I still go through a lot thinking that my health will lead to problems for me where I worry I might not get to see my children grow up.  So I’m gonna try and do this.  And if I can lose about fifty more pounds the doctor thinks I’ll be off at least one pill.

My reason for mentioning this again is to ask if anyone has any ideas for tracking and reminders.  I’m horrible at it (unless it’s my money).

Well to better days and hopefully reviews for next week.

Thank you everyone and good night.

So near the end of the movie Nicholson tells Hunt “You make me want to be a better person” during this sob story about his pills.  Have you ever felt like that or a had a person fill you with such joy that you want to change something about yourself?

Today I recieved a letter from my doctor.  I am evidently past due for my diabetes checkup (although I was informed in January they didn’t want to see me until August).  It made me realize I am horrible at taking pills.  I hate taking pills.  I’m supposed to take at least 12 pills a day.  That’s a lot of pills.  2 for sugar, 1 for blood pressure, 1 for a fast pulse, 5 for pain, 1 for high cholesterol, an aspirin for heart protection and a vitamin.  That’s a lot of fraking pills.

I admit that I forget a lot.  In fact I don’t think I’ve taken them for two weeks.  Why is that?  Because I too lazy to keep my pill bottles prepped.  I had a wonderful system of these nifty little vial like plastic tubes that I could fit a dose into.  I set them up to have morning and evening bottles.  I’d take each dose and then I’m supposed to toss them in a box so I can start refilling them … and well I don’t know where most of them are now.

I know I need to take my pills.  I know I need to lose weight – doing so means I don’t have to take my pills because my body should straighten itself out.  I want to be a better person.  I want to be around for my wife, my kids (when I have any), my family and my friends.

So now I sit here trying to figure out what to do.  I find myself sitting alone a lot lately.  I try to do constructive things (this blog for example).  I try to make things.  I try to do so many things.  In the end, I feel like I’ve done nothing.  I’ve always chocked this up to “It’s Life” and deal with it.  That may or may not be best way to handle, but until better things get figured out that’s how it will be.

And I’ve now realized that I’m moving farther and farther away from my thoughts when I started this post and should probably stop.  I’m going to try to write over the weekend, but I hope to have a new review up on Monday and hopefully going into the next week I’ll get better plans for what’s going to be posted regularly on track (or at least started).

Needless to say, I’ve accomplished nothing.  I’ve tried working on session preparation for my game tomorrow, but I’ve been unable to focus on that (or anything for that matter).  Now I am confident I’ll be able to make this work as it’ll likely be the last big session before a big rule change coming through, also there is this thing called summer and many trips happening; the main reason this game is happening on Monday instead of it’s usual Thursday.

Now also I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to write about on here.  I really like having everything planned out.  Yes I realize most people that know me would probably call me a big liar as everything I do seems to just happen; in fact I used to roll dice or flip coins for almost every decision I used to make in my senior year of high school – and that probably explains a lot of my dumb choices, but that is neither here nor there.  I think I’m going to try come up with a regular schedule of what shows up on what day, like Monday is a review, Tuesday is x and Wednesday is y.  I may end up building to this slowly, but I will get to it.

I’ve always been told the first step in writing is to write.  Honestly that’s the only reason I’m typing this post right now.  I’m just going to keep writing posts, even if they’re nonsense posts like this one.  I think I’ll tag these as “Random Gibberish”.

One thing to say for everyone is stay away from snakes.  If you can figure out a way eliminate them from the planet I’ll give you twenty bucks.

Well I think I’ve rambled enough for today.  Hopefully tomorrow there will be something new up that is not gibberish.